Saturday, February 25, 2012

A vulva museum!

Continuing the theme...

vulva ring!

Friday, February 10, 2012

when you fall in love with something

a little image, words, a character, how do you keep it? It's nice if you have a Tumblr, but that doesn't work for everything, and things sweep by in the endless parade of new posts.

I fell in love with something just now, how can I put it in my pocket and keep it safe?

Mind to Media

Maybe just like this. 

Saturday, February 4, 2012

a post about vulva stuff

I've various things I've been storing up to say in this post, but I didn't really feel like it. I'm sorry for neglecting my blog, but I've been feeling remarkably unsuffused with heat of late. But I just finished a story I've been sitting on for months and months, so I feel slightly buoyed.

In November, I went to a gentle little Tantric Orgasm workshop. The focus was really less on orgasm and more of liking yourself more, and I recognised that all of this was what I owed myself. It was really nice, actually, and made me feel slightly more comfortable with taking up the space I do, even if some of it is just a wee bit cringy for me - too much completely unironic talk of goddesses and yoni-worship that made me long a little bit for a space in which you can use the word cunt in a postitive way. I don't think bdsm can necessarily fit into Tantra. But maybe I'm wrong about that.

I got to make vulva cupcakes! One woman said that opening her eyes to see a vulva on a bun was so lovely it made her cry again (yes, withing 5 minutes of the circle of women introducing themselves and why they were there, there was quite a lot of crying. This woman-space thing is really really important, I think).

This one was my favourite:

But I was a bit alarmed at myself - my favourite is the pretty pink delicate one? The one that can't remotely be said to represent me?

I've been spending too much time of late on Tumblr, where perfect, pretty, pink, shell like vulvas set in smooth, creamy skin abound. I made the mistake of looking at myself, up close, with a light source. Mistake! I'm in my mid thirties, I've had two children. I've done my perineal massage both times, and unfortunately torn a little both times due to various factors. I nearly didn't the first time, let's say, but things don't always go to plan. Sadly, though I'm certain I looked before, when I was still young and less battered by ageing and childbirth, but I honestly can't remember what I looked like then. I had a crisis, though, this time. Dear god, what's happened to me? 'Is it colour?' someone asked me when I bemoaned my vulva's fate. Colour?? I hadn't even been worrying about that, so much, I was more fixated on the possibility of slight prolapse... I did after that, though.

A little time and perspective has gone by, Kegels and the Tantra workshop helped me feel a bit better, and things don't look as dire as they did. I'll never have a pink or perfect vulva again though, if I ever did in the first place - and I have no idea what a man who isn't the man I met at 17 and bore children for would think about this.

I saw this the other day - is it the perfect answer?

This product is called 'My New Pink Button' and when applied to the vulva, it temporarily dyes it a shade they're calling 'Bettie'. Makes you good as new!

My New Pink Button (tm) is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia. There is no other product like it. This patent pending formula was designed by a female certified Paramedical Esthetician after she discovered her own genital color loss. 


Bettie - Think of that favorite lipstick you wear for those dressy black tie affairs and think "Bettie". This shade blends with a woman's own skin tones to bring out that "sexy hot pink, I am fired up, look". Go dancing this weekend and remember to bring "Bettie" along!


Dye System Kit includes 20 disposable applicators, mixing dish, labia colorant dye and instructional guide.


Our Products are Never Tested on Animals, but it will bring out the Animal in You!


Easy to use - applies in just one minute - and your pink is back!


20 applications per bottle

At first I wasn't sure if it was real... but I think it is. I think I won't even comment on this, though here's a rant from someone else. Is this something men want us to do? Is a darkened vulva really off putting? I don't know! People don't talk about this stuff. Honestly, it makes me want to weep. There's no end to how wrong we women can ... be.

ANYWAY: back to my original cupcake experience. I am succeeding in raising my daughter aware of her physicality and her genitals and how to feel about them, I think. She loved this project, and made her own cupcake topper. She liked her efforts way better than mine:

She just saw this and said, 'that's mine, isn't it. Well, it was mine. I ate it.' Which makes me think cunnilingus is having your cake and eating it too ;) 

When I dropped off the box of vulvas (which was alarmingly reminscent of the 'dried vulva collection' conversation I once indulged in with a friend), I was discussing with the teacher how positive and lovely it had been to work on them with my 8 year old daughter, and how it might not be the same with penises - would everyone just giggle about penis cupcakes? My 4 year old son was there too, and I suddenly realised that that was just silly. Yes! He said, I want to make penis cupcakes too!

Yes! Echoed my lovely tantra teacher friend, Power to the Penis!

So we went home and made a fondant penis cupcake topper. He wanted a reallllly long one, so it came out like this :)

So, a little adventure. The class made me feel a little more accepting and less grief filled. It's a good thing to do, in this day and age of photo shopping and youth-worship. In Australia, all photos of fleshy labia are photo shopped out, by order. Just a simple, childlike bare slit is all that's acceptable. I'm not denying for a second that the young perfect pink model vulvas aren't beautiful, but... well... is there room for all of us out there?