Tuesday, July 6, 2010

a pet peeve, a personal bugbear, if you will

Say I was going to make a spanking video. Chances are I'd put on my best lacy pants (or panties, U.S types) for it. Maybe even a nice skirt, you know? I mean, a girl would rather look her best, even if she's up-ended, red cheeked and wriggling. I would imagine. Wouldn't you agree?

So, if that is the case, wouldn't you think the same would apply to the spanko boyfriend, or he who awards himself the capitalised 'Master'? It seems the answer is no.

Instead, more often than not, he's wearing ... shorts. Shorts don't command respect. They don't shout steely authority. They kinda shout nerdy teen, to me. Especially on older men. With bellies...

Worse again is the saggy tracksuit bottom. I mean, come on. That's not even trying a little bit. They're not even leather tracksuit bottoms, like this one:

Ok, that wouldn't command respect either, tee hee.

But yes, the sagginess. The old, wrinkly, round the house when no one can see you tracky pants the lads all seem to favour. I don't understand it. It puts me off, I tell you.

As does one other thing, while we're at it: If I was going to make a spanking video, I'd turn the fucking telly off first. I mean, come on! That's just rude and tasteless. I saw one the other day with a tracksuit AND a tv blaring and glowing in the background. Too much! And don't tell me it's spontanaety. They set the camera up!

Alright, I have vented, and now everyone knows I've been watching Spanking Tube. Oh well.

I leave you with this gem, which illustrates again the way tracksuits fail to strike fear into the heart of a spankee:

I once had a conversation with a writer of bdsm stories about how the idea of leather trousers with a 'panel' that opened in front was a bit silly, and found this to be a far scarier vision. Yes. Meheheheheh. Snigger.

I mean, even if somone let this AliG-alike anywhere near their ass, wearing a baby blue velour tracksuit will never say 'you is my bitch' to a girl. Don't kid yourself, gangstas.


kristina lloyd said...

Oh lordy, I ended up here on the back of your comment on Oh Get a Grip. This is the funniest fucking thing for ages! (And also, yeah, the difference says heaps about the way women are sexualised and men, ah they just need to turn up, they don't need to make themselves desirable - because what's the point? Women don't have desire.)

Anyway, best tag ever: baby blue velour dom-wear!