Friday, July 2, 2010

Note to anyone whose erotica sensibilites were offended by the porny blow job picture - turns out it's even harder to find an appropriate lollipop picture than a blow job one (and I spent a lot of time loking for both!) So after extensive searching, I've given up on trying to be tasteful for now.

My friend was telling me yesterday, that her friend asked her what semen tasted like. Because, she'd never given anyone a blow job. She'd got married to the man she met when she was 16. He'd recently left her, with a debilitating disease and low confidence.

But she'd never gone down on anyone. Sounds like no one had ever gone down on her either.

I find it hard to fathom. In some respects. I mean, I'm not queen of orgasms, it's true. But still... I remember refusing a friend who asked me to go a little further, and suck on it, please. And I said, er, no! But even then, at 14 or thereabouts, I'd read Cynthia Heimel's Sex Tips for Girls and countless Cosmo articles on the best ways to please your man and so on. And it wasn't long before I'd found someone I was comfortable practising on. And because I'd never been taught that sex, or pleasure, or genitalia were disgusting or repugnant or evil, or whatever the fuck hangup you have to have to banish oral sex completely from your repertoire, I loved it, I loved being good at it. Back then it was great to be in control of someone's pleasure, to give something. To be too hot with an aching jaw under an airless duvet working on their pretty cock while they gasped and panted hoarsely above me. Asking if it was ok, to hear,

'Are you serious? Didn't you hear my breathing? And I didn't even come!'

Ah, yes, to be mistress of that.

But don't we expend such energy, being disgusted by things? Don't get me wrong, I'm as fond of laughing or ew-ing at random weird fetishes as the next girl, as I think the humour potential is strong in some cases. But dismissing blow jobs? Aw. So sad.

Plus, you know the fact she's asking about them means she's curious... I just pray that if she does decide to go down on someone that he doesn't have lumpy semen. Because that would be so ironic, Alanah might be tempted to write a sequel.