Monday, July 20, 2015

random words

Often as I'm drifting off to sleep, my head writes things. Sometimes they're coherent and I like the language, so I struggle out of my comfy half sleep and write them down.

I just one I filed away the other week. I do remember writing it, but I have no idea what the larger idea was, or what earthly use it will ever be to me.

So I'll just stick it here as written.

This is why I don't write long form work...

I lay in my little bed in the cottage and listened to the arythmic bump and scrape and shuffle of the boat bobbing against the dock. Gradually the impact grew more rhythmic, and when it was accompanied by a soft groan I realised it had been assimilated into the sound of my sister having sex in the room next door.
I listened dispassionately. Really, I thought, I’m too young to be exposed to this sort of thing.
That wasn’t actually true. I was of an age to start finding out. My friend Cally had recently thrown herself into sex with an exuberant energy, her enthusiasm and willingness to learn making up for her inexperience. She shared her newfound knowledge with me in whispered snatches and I reacted appropriately, smiled and filed it away in some later to be opened box in my mind.

I couldn’t imagine being bothered. Not with Cally’s smoke and cider scented Darren or the grimy construction workers who filed into the pub on Thursday and Friday evenings, cement dust greying the rough lines on their fingers.

Who might this ingenue teen find to explore her desire with? A billionaire dom? A vampire? Some class of lesbian? I've a horrible feeling it might have been her sister's boyfriend, now that I think about it, but I can't remember why. Hmm. 

Thursday, July 16, 2015

An Open Letter To George Hook

Dear George Hook,
So in this article, you seem to be saying you didn't say what Nuala Nic Dhomhnaill thought you said about implied consent in a relationship. Instead ... this is what you meant... 

So now you are sharing a bed with someone and obviously a sexual congress takes place on a regular basis, because you're living with somebody. Now is there not an implied consent therefore that you consent to sexual congress?" he asked.

Yeah, the difference isn't very clear to me. But why is it so hard to fathom the idea of consent? Why would being in a relationship imply consent at all times? Didn't we make marital rape a crime (finally, in 1991 - seems that before that they thought it might get in the way of 'reconcilliation')? Not that it's made much difference, as we've still got shit like the case you've been pontificating on, or this one that popped up when I went to search for the criminalisation date, because I couldn't *imagine* it could have been as late as 1991.
You're not alone in this either, George. Possibly because men of your age and attitude are still the influential voice of the coutnry. 
But back to the complexity of the issue, George... if you're in a relationship, consent is implied, eh? What if they're having a poo, George, is consent implied then? Or if they're sick with a fever, or they've just hit their head. Or maybe if their parent's died, and they're too sad to say no clearly... would implied consent still work then, because you're living with them?
What if you're living with them but you're not actually in a relationship but you had sex once before? Is consent implied then, if you never officially withdrew it?
Yes, George. You need consent Every Single Time. And you don't fuck anyone when they're asleep unless they've specifically asked you to and you've agreed the terms. It's scary to me that people have trouble with that idea. Have a wee look at this handy cartoon if you're still confused. Please.