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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Diamond - guest post by Justine Elyot

Without further ado (or rather, further lateness on my part), here is the inimitable Justine Elyot, to talk to you lovely people about her shiny new  book, Diamond, a novel packed full of heroism, satisfying villainy, and romance. 


Diamond

Are trilogies still the in thing? They certainly were when I was asked to write this one by the gang at Black Lace, and I hope they will continue to prosper while the Diamond Trilogy plays out.




My original inspiration for this story was the idea of a kind of modern Lady Chatterley's Lover, with Lady Chatterley as a working-class girl made good rather than an aristocratic wife, and Mellors as a fugitive hiding out in her attic.

My Lady Chatterley is Jenna Myatt Diamond, who has made a fortune as a talent-spotter in the Simon Cowell vein after promoting her rocker boyfriend to stardom when they were both teenagers. She is not an ignorant, innocent flower but the pressures of her life have meant that she has put her old ideals of what love and sex should be on the back-burner while her career took over. Meanwhile, her rock star husband turned his attentions elsewhere…

One nasty LA divorce later, and Jenna is taking a year off in her home town, the former Nottinghamshire mining community of Bledburn. (Not so far from Eastwood, where D H Lawrence grew up…)

She has decided to spend that year renovating the crumbling old home of the locally hated Harville family. Little does she know that the crumbling attic of the crumbling home contains a surprise…

Here's an excerpt:

In many ways the place hadn't changed. Not in every way – the high rises were gone, replaced with nests of tiny newbuilds. The pit head was a museum now, and there was a ring road encircling the town, keeping it in, separate from the old coal mining landscape that had been its life blood - as if to say 'This isn't part of you any more'.
The signs of modernity were calculated to comfort, but they didn't do much for Jenna's mood and she found herself in uncertain spirits as she parked the car and wandered down the lone pedestrianised street that made up the 'town centre'.
Perhaps this had been a mistake, she thought, looking into the shop windows  - those that weren't boarded up. The only businesses that seemed to be flourishing on this wet Wednesday afternoon were the bookmakers, the pound shops and the glorified pawnbrokers that had sprung up on every corner.
A big chain pub with a happy hour that lasted until teatime was full and bright, as if its façade of good cheer had sucked everyone off the street and left it empty. She thought about going in and getting a nip of something to keep the shivers off, but there was no guarantee she wouldn’t be recognised, and conversation was the last thing she was after.
The high street drifted into nothingness, the old covered market abandoned now, just a shed earmarked for demolition. She stepped under its dark old awning and tried to remember it the way it was: the smells of overripe fruit and veg, meat and fish all competing to hit the back of her throat the hardest. The little stalls full of knitting wools or costume jewellery or model making kits. The slow crowds of old ladies in five layers of clothing and kids in tracksuits. And at the centre of it all, Smash Records, where she had spent every Saturday afternoon. Where she had met Deano.
She made a sharp about-turn and walked swiftly to the end of the street and into the residential area beyond, her umbrella charging before her like a weapon. Densely-packed terraces gave way to more spacious environs within a ten minute walk and soon she saw the church tower that confirmed she had taken the right route and was near her destination.
She decided to walk through the churchyard rather than keep on the straight path – something about churchyards in pouring rain encouraged contemplative peace, and she was in need of it. Among the lichened stones bearing names of people who had breathed their last centuries before, she stopped and looked up at the sky. Its grey threat was not the best omen for a day on which her life would change.
But she didn't believe in things like that. She believed in making your own luck. She had made hers, and now she could afford to buy the house that had fascinated her since childhood. And if she didn't get a shove on, she'd be late to pick up the keys.
There it stood, just the other side of the churchyard, mostly hidden behind a high yew hedge. The grounds of Harville Hall had been the scene of many a childhood exploration, ever since the family had abandoned it during the miners' strike, when she was five. She and the other kids from the estate had used its ever-more-overgrown gardens and woodland for innumerable games of A-Team and Robin Hood. She had never managed to get inside the house, though, because the walls had bristled with alarms and those new cameras that filmed you. The big red spray painted 'TRAITOR' on the side gable hadn't been washed off for years.
Of course, it would be long gone now.
She went to stand by the padlocked front gate, looking up and down the street for signs of the keybearer. The house had been lived in again since its abandonment, but little had been done to it in the way of renovation. Although structurally sound, it had a blank, neglected look.
Within half a minute, the door of a shiny red sports car parked up the road had opened and a man in a very smart dark blue peacoat stepped out and strode towards her. Having no umbrella, he held a leather satchel over his head to keep off the rain and he grimaced at her as he drew level. The grimace did nothing to disguise his handsomeness, though. Jenna was pleasantly impressed and couldn't help giving him one of her brightest beams back.
'Hi,' she said. 'Jenna Myatt.'
'Thank God for that,' he said, holding out the hand that wasn't occupied with the satchel. 'Lawrence Harville. What a day. Shall we step inside? Or I could hand over the keys in my car, if you prefer?'


The book is available right now from Amazon


Saturday, September 6, 2014

oh for feck's sake

So... people keep inventing devices to make birth easier. Never mind that a woman might be happy on all fours on the floor, or squatting, or pulling on a rope, or leaning on her bed or her partner, or floating freely in a pool of warm, analgesic water...

No, we must have machines and gadgets and devices. There's been a version of a birth stool around for thousands of years, as you can see if you google image it. A simple device that supports a woman and lets her baby come out. But in Ohio, they've come up with the startling idea of the 'birth machine' chair, also termed the 'Relaxbirth' -



Mmm, comfy? Except, wait, I have to say, it reminds me of an orange juicer.

Or even:


Seriously, doesn't this woman look like she's about to be juiced?




Here's another thing that anyone who knows about birth might notice - see how she's sitting right on her coccyx? Well, not to preach, but in pregnancy, women's joints and ligaments soften so that their coccyx can move right back and out in order to make space for the baby to pass. If you've lain on your back during labour, you'll know how horribly fucking painful it is, compared to say, leaning forward, as the baby scrapes along all your nerves and the bumps of your spine. Pushing a baby over a coccyx that's stuck curving in is difficult, painful, and dangerous. That's why birthing lying on your back was such a god awful idea. Doctors like it for access, but it has bad results. This picture seems to me to be all about access for the practitioner, not about helping the mother let the baby out the easiest way possible. She's sitting on her coccyx. Nooo, Relaxbirth, NOOOO!

Someone once told me she thought the idea of giving birth on all fours was 'undignified'. Such brainwashing has gone on. A leading and influential obstetritian here has stated that gravity is irrelevant in delivering babies. Really? Really? The world went mad a long time ago, strap yourself into the Relaxbirth and do what you're told.

Anyway, why am I posting this little rant here, instead of other places where I usually rant about stupid and destructive anti-woman and anti-baby birth practices? Eh? Well, it's because I wanted to post this photo as a final association, and I didn't want to upset anyone's tender sensibilities, because it is quite disgusting... but I couldn't help thinking of it.



Saturday, August 16, 2014

Feather beds


I just saw this on a groupon offer, and I have to confess, it gave me a twinge of arousal.



Lookit. It's a goosefeather and down mattress topper. That would be so fucking comfortable. Like the shed full of feathers in Jemima Puddleduck. Comfort!


Warmth! Cuddliness! The sleepy bliss of snuggling into that... my daughter keeps telling me of the women she's read about who've fallen in love with (and married) edifices - the Berlin Wall, the Eiffel Tower (thrusting, eh?). I can imagine myself developing quite the relationship with my bed. It may be happening already, especially since I got a body pillow. Mmmm, boyfriend pillow. An ecstacy of comfiness.

Unfortunately, I've come to realise that my lifelong love affair with feather duvets and pillows isn't an acceptable one. I'm a vegetarian, I don't like the idea of animals suffering torture for my comfort, and the reality of the first picture is a bloody one.



Live plucking is fucking disgusting. They do it to Angora rabbits too :(  At least the fox killed the birds before he plucked them, presumably. But as a vegetarian, even that doesn't sit too well with me. Battery farming... hmm. 

I've harshed my own buzz here. I do love sleeping in feathers. That bed turns me on. The words 'feather bed' fill me with bliss. You would think in our modern world we could invent a synthetic feather substitute that isn't petrochemical or otherwise nasty, that felt the same without ripping something bloody and tipping it back out into a barn, possibly to die of shock before the next time... c'mon! 



Tuesday, July 1, 2014

I don't really know what to do with the stuff any more

I read this post on 'to pube or not to pube' by Cara Sutra, and started writing this in the comments, 'til I realised it was one of those comments-that-are-blog-posts.

 I agree that it's very hard to say what our 'natural' preference would be, away from the pressures of fashion.

I remember being horrified by my first few pubic hairs, and cutting them off, in a sort of, oh god, what the hell are these, they're not meant to be here! sort of way. Maybe if I'd seen my mother naked more I wouldn't have felt like that? They would have just felt like ... mine?

As a teenager in Ireland in the early 90s, I just 'had' pubic hair. It wasn't the kind you couldn't hid under a swim suit or knickers, so that made it easier to accept. The boyfriend I had from 17 and who I married also had pubes, it was just what people had. I'd never come across anyone who shaved or waxed. He liked it. He didn't really like the idea of bareness (which I'm a bit sorry about now, as I think that might have been fun, here and there...). We just got on with it, it was what people had.

It's only more recently in my 30s I've been more aware that people do stuff about it now as a routine thing. Can I be arsed, as someone who's single and not dating? Well, speaking of arses, it WAS easier to ignore before my 30s. Why must we grow crack-hair, why, why? Funny, I remember being 17 and getting a ticket signed by Gail from Belly who wrote 'Always keep your butt-crack shaved!' And I remember thinking, 'what does that mean?' Now I know... sigh.

The expense... the pain... the ingrown hairs and razor burn. I dunno. They need to design something better, preferably a device that allows me to tell my body exactly what to do, including my puffy thick angles, broken veins, fat distribution, boob direction, etc. etc. 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Master of the House

Stories of gentry and kinky sex - who better to write them that Justine Elyot?

I started reading this under the slightly confused impression that it was another in the His House of Submission series. It isn't! So, don't look for Jasper, as instead we have Joss, her old flame, who's introduced to us through a series of flashbacks. There's a masterful sense of the sinister around Lucy's memories of their childhood and teenage relationships - it's hard to tell what happened, and the suspense is  very effective.

Lucy is a strong and sympathetic character and the details of her life and reactions are quite real. She's not perfect and has plenty of concerns and insecurities.

The story ends with a slightly fantastical twist, that is actually just fun, if a little unbelievable. The choices the characters end up making are conversely far more rooted in everyday reality. Again, there's a bit of a Jilly Cooper roundup in the ultimate chapter, but after a story of summer byways and Lords and their country piles and pints in the pub by the river, it fits remarkably well, and ends with a laugh. There's everything to enjoy in this story. 

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Cupcakes, Armour, Ink, Wings: Helena Hunting

Some years ago, in a daze of Twilight fanfiction, I read a story by a Canadian writer that captivated me completely. I've waited a long time for it to get published, and it's now out in a series of beautifullly illustrated books.



Here they are

Cupcakes and Ink

Clipped Wings

Inked Armour

Cracks in the Armour

Between the Cracks - free right now!

I had a little trouble because the original epic tale has been edited into something manageable, and there's bits I missed as I was reading, little scenes that were my favourite. And some of the characters subtly changed. Helena's answers to my probing questions explain why that is - ultimately it's a great edit, and a brave one more realistic, much tighter.

I can't separate the stories into individual books, really, as for me they're all one. They're full of utterly winsome characters, and the tension comes from grief, friendship, trauma and romance mixed together. The inclusion of the world of body modification makes an interesting and appealing back drop.

I just love these books, they'll always be a favourite of mine.

Here's Helena, with some answers to my questions!


1. So this story is the end result of a MONSTER edit! How was that process for you, I can't imagine how you managed it all. How did you decide what major changes to make? I do think the story is far more credible with the new antagonists.

I macheted about half the original manuscript, which was something that definitely needed to happen. Some of the process was challenging and there were scenes that were difficult to cut, but necessary in the end. Initially, I started going through the manuscript one chapter at a time and editing from within. By the time I got to chapter nine it became glaringly obvious that my writing style had changed over time and the approach I was taking wouldn’t be effective.

My very good friend Alex worked through the outline with me for both books. It took about a month, but the outlines made it so much easier to weed out the scenes that were no longer essential to the story. After that, I stopped referring to the original draft for the most part and I just started writing from scratch. It was quite an intense process, but definitely one I’m glad I went through. 

2. I love that you're still writing more Chris and Sarah - will you ever be able to let these characters go?

Eventually, yes. As the first full length novel I’ve ever written, I think these characters are close to my heart. All of the characters, whether primary or secondary have a story to be told, Chris and Sarah included.

3. Did you intentionally make a plea for acceptance for the tattooed and pierced people of the world? Is that something that bothers you, or was it just part of the characters' natural struggle?

Social constructs, while often required, are also constraining. I feel like body modification is highly misunderstood form of art. I wanted people to view it through a different lens. In many cultures the art of body modification is a norm, not a deviation from it. If we can look at it as a vehicle for artistic expression rather than something “other”, I think it’s easier to understand what motivates people to commemorate their life milestones in the form of ink.


4. I'm assuming you've left fanfiction behind now, but tell us a little bit about how you see it being valuable. I see so many writers sneering at it - but I think it's an incredibly positive thing. 

Without it I never would have found an audience, or the motivation to move forward with my writing. I’ve met some very incredible women through fanfiction, and they’ve been supportive through this process. Fanfiction gave many indie authors the opportunity to share their words in a safe, accepting forum, and to develop and hone their writing skills. So much of the fandom are embracing, encouraging and positive. I’ve been very fortunate to have been a part of that.

5. So - what's next for Helena Hunting?


I’m still writing and I’m hoping to share more soon!

Monday, June 2, 2014

a kiss

Waking, and sifting through the long, slightly exhausting tumble of my bank holiday morning dreams, I unearth... a kiss. I was looking at your photos, a bent head, a bicep, all bathed in soft light, and then magically there was kissing instead, a memory, a dream-shift, I don't know, but I remembered the soft, slow touching of warm, wet tongues and  your fine blond hair grown long enough to whisper over my forehead as we kissed.