famous people I follow on Twitter

1. Kristen Hirsch. She talks to me!! She says sweet things! I heart her. If she comes to Ireland, I will stalk her with cupcakes.

2. James Deen. I tweet him back and he doesn't answer. Still... I'm clinging to the hope that my attempts at funny/caring (sue me, he's just so endearing) are better than all the other desperate ones going DON'T EAT THE BURRITO EAT MY PUSSY FUCKME AAAAGH. For Christ's sake, porn fans, get a grip. Ahem.

3. Manuel Ferarra. Yeah, I know. Still, selfies and photos of his cute retriever. He can be kinda bitchy though.

4. Assorted erotica writers I knew before Twitter, who still qualify as famous even though I know them through different avenues. If you know what I mean. Shout out to Justine Elyot for indulging me in Hiddlyfantasies and Charlotte Stein for being my sister in Incompetence.

5. Most recently though*pause for minor swoon* FRANK BLACK. Who ignored me til I posted a gushing and poetic thank you for his recent Dublin Pixies gig, and then... didn't RT it but ... followed me. *Hushed awe and more swooning* It's awful pressurising though, I never say anything of interest on Twitter. That tweet may have set me up for a fall. Still... Frank Black. God of alternative rock. *dizzy*

6. Russell Brand. Many causes and much political stuff. Too much to process, really.

7. Sarah Millican. Occasionally funny, often sweet, but too much in the way of cataloguing her god awful diet of pork pies and chocolate bars. Makes me uncomfortable. I have to admit, though my own diet is pants at the moment, and for the last while, the posts on Tumblr of food I see that I reblog and yearn for tend to be of rustic salads and vegetables all artistic and colourful, or of fruit - one really obese woman often posts Southern US style cheese meat grease fests and things like cookie dough covered in custard covered in pudding and fries and waffles and toffee sauce and so on. And these, I'm grateful to say, sicken rather than appeal to me.

I still don't really get Twitter. There is ego, there is marketing, publicity and also reaching out to people - some friends, some fans, this weird crossover. Tumblr makes more sense to me in some ways - I suppose because its purpose is vaguer.. looking at nice pictures - oo, this is nice, look at this. I once thought blogging was awful, I can't remember the dismissive term I used for it, but I was scathing about the airing of one's own opinion and the minutiae of one's daily life in public... ha, funny that.

Anyway, we tweet on. This post is about nothing more than saying KIRSTEN HERSH LIKES ME ON TWITTER AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY, in tweety truth :) 

women's porn

Someone on a foodie facebook page I'm on just posted a picture of a beautiful walk-in larder that looks like some sort of ye olde grocerie shoppe. Yes, it's gorgeous, and yes, I'd like it, but a commenter gasped 'OMG it's like women's porn!'

I'm writing this here, instead of commenting there that while I like it a lot, and would love to have it, it's perhaps porn for women who don't like porn, as opposed to 'women's porn' - for example, it really wouldn't help me come much - there's not enough fucking or spanking in it, for starters.

Human beings, we're funny creatures. I was in the social welfare office the other day, eyeing my stuffed-to-bursting folder of temporary sign-ons that run back to 2007. 'Don't worry, it's the same with all seasonal teaching work', the nice girl said, as I gazed at the tangible symbol of my failure in life. While I was waiting, I glanced over the graffitti on my side of the window, toland on a scrawled proclamation,

Mary Moorehouse gave me a blowjob and she swallowed my come

I'm not sure if it's triumphant or denigrating. Both, quite likely. The need to boast is strong, though I'm pretty sure getting sexual favours from a Moorehouse isn't much to brag about. Let's just say they're a well known family with transient roots, infamous rather than famous. I was impressed that he wrote come not cum.

It's happier than the last one I saw, which was a more poignant 'warm in here, cold at home'. I'll leave you to ponder that while I ponder where I fall between pantry-porn and blowjob broadcast. 

Dark Secret Love - a fan tale

So, back in... 2006...2007? God, I'm not sure... Alison Tyler started her blog . I was so excited to find it - I had been reading her stories on the Good Vibrations site and had been scouring the internet for more. Imagine my delight to find a blog you could see her posts in, and comment on. It was completely thrilling. I remember the first post I read of hers, a picture of a scribbled story from years before.

It got better though - she started writing stories from her past, and this incredible voyage unfolded, glowing words swirling off the dark pages to delight and thrill and shock me. A lot of what she was describing was new to me then, or at least the detail. I'm a lot less alarmable now, but the dark secret magic of the story still remains as fresh as ever.

Alison sent me the Dark Secret Love ebook to reread, and I swore I would wait for the paperback, because I had visions of how nostalgic and lovely it would be to curl up in bed with it, touch the cover, see the type. So I just read the first chapter. Then I thought I'd just read til Jack appeared. Then of course, I sat up late and read the whole thing. Cos, you know... self control issues and all.

I was preoccupied wondering if anything was put in or taken out - the original tome was a blog post or two a day, but scenes were often divided into multiple short glimpses of the moment. I have to say I didn't notice her editing, or miss anything, it still held all the intensity and gripping interest that it had the first time around in serial form.

I'm so delighted to see this book come out. It's a great antidote to the whole Fifty Shades-machine mess. This is the book that should have told the world about the joys of BDSM. It's an authentic voice - Alison uses the same phrases throughout her fiction and on her blog, and I met them again with a familiar pleasure in DSL. It's hers through and through.

I can't wait for the next one. Not to be spoilery, but I can't WAIT for Alex. I loved the Alex stuff. I want to know what happens. A little community built around that story on Alison's Trollop blog. We got to react and discuss and live in her moments. It meant a lot to me at a lonely time, and pregnant and horny, I submitted my first story to Alison - she's been a generous and patient editor since then.

I await critical discussion with interest - I think the commitment Sam shows to her lifestyle and exploring her limits may alarm people who read Fifty Shades because it was popular - and I think it's a good thing. The Dark Secret Love story is not always comfortable. It's brave and it's stark and I suspect you will come to care about it a lot. I certainly did, those years ago, and I still do, with great investment, now. Somehow, this feels like my story. Not mine to have written, but my story as a reader. As a reader, it belonged to me to, in the midst of the reader experience - a more than conceptual dialogue, given that I was in the unique position to be able to respond and ask questions during the process. We were so lucky! 

handy

We're in the car, and I've a chocolate bar, a Kinder Bueno. I love Kinder Buenos. My daughter says she thinks bueno means two, and I start trying to remember Spanish numbers.

Her: I know that, from Handy Manny.
Me:  Ah yes. I like Handy Manny.
Her: He could fix our toilet.
Me: Gasp!! OMG!
My brain: I would give Handy Manny a BLOWJOB if he fixed our toilet (our toilet has been broken for 7 years now. You have to flush it wiht bowls of water. It's not good. My husband is not handy and we can't afford a plumber).

Actually, I really would, because, come to think of it, this is one reason why I like HM so much - he's Fez from That 70s show, and he has grown up into a Very Fine Young Man:

Banging Rebecca

Banging Rebecca is a threesome story I just adored, from Alison Tyler. It's intense and beautifully dirty. It's a love song to musicians and youth and an indie scene that most of us will recognise.  I'm pretty sure I reviewed it, but Amazon seems to eat my reviews up... anyway, Alison't aiming to sell 50,000 copies - can you help? Over to her:

The number one rule in smut is location, location, location. No, wait, that’s real estate. But location is important for erotica, as well. In my stories, the settings sometimes become characters in their own right. In my Black Lace novel, Sticky Fingers, San Francisco is a major character. I wanted her to live and breathe.

In Banging Rebecca, the main scenarios take place at a house in Venice Beach, California. I hoped readers would be able to feel the surroundings, to imagine the lights and the sounds. The house exists. I’ve been there multiple times.

He drove me to his bungalow in Venice, then walked me around to the back, to the old porch hovering on the canal. Here, he fucked me again, on that timeworn wood, with the lights flickering on the water, as if we were in the real Venice, the other Venice, and not the SoCal wannabe. Everyone’s a wannabe in Southern California—even the cities. Marina del Rey dreams of becoming Saint Tropez. Brentwood has wet dreams of waking up as Beverly Hills.

Sean didn’t say a word at first. He simply stripped me down. This time, I was totally naked, boots off, stockings off, shorts ripped down so violently, the fabric tore. Shirt discarded. No bra to lose.

When he had me exactly the way he wanted me, he started to talk once more:

“I knew you were a bad girl when I saw you watching me play.”

            L.A. is never totally quiet. We could hear the helicopters overhead, chasing down some speed demon on the Highway. Music spilled from one of the houses nearby—Eric Clapton, soft and low. The sound of the water kept the rhythm, lapping on the struts of the porch. But mostly, I listened to Sean…

            Can you hear him, too?

     “Jesus, you’re so fucking wet.” His cock pressing into me, filling me up. His hands moving me, turning me so that I was on my back, legs over his shoulders. Then on my side, one thigh crossed over the other. “I’ve never felt a girl get so wet so quickly before. Must be because you truly are a slut.”

 

Buy Banging Rebecca to read the rest and find out what the inside of the house looks like.

XXX,

Alison

 

Called a “Trollop with a Laptop” by East Bay Express and “a hell of a writer” by Violet Blue, Alison Tyler is naughty and she knows it. Her sultry short stories have appeared in more than 100 anthologies. She is the author of more than 25 erotic novels, most recently Dark Secret Love, and the editor of more than 75 explicit anthologies. Visitalisontyler.blogspot.com 24/7 as she’s a total insomniac.

Inspirational, Celebrational, this is who we call Charlotte Stein!

Ah, readers. I recently got offered a review copy of Run to You by the lovely, the one and only Charlotte Stein. Charlotte's books are always a rollercoaster of humour, intensity and incredibly entertaining angst. I love her sex scenes enormously and their super charged dynamic usually pervades her books. Run to You is no exception. The first chapter introduces a classic Stein heroine, and then sets her off on an unexpected and gripping journey that I couldn't stop reading. Chapter 1 ends in a cliffhanger that kept me reading til I'd finished the whole thing, in the wee hours. I heartedly recommend you go find it and read it, now, once you've read this entertaining Q&A, Qed by me and Aed by Charlotte. 

I am honoured to have her here! 

Hello bb!

1. Ok, first, Run To You. Does this book have a message you'd like to talk about? What do you hope people will take from it?

I think the message is just to never give up hoping. That a life lived without dreams isn't a life at all, even if the destruction of those dreams happens. And if people take anything away from it, I would hope it was that.

2. Your books have a huge intensity that can sweep the reader along in a wave, I find. Your twitter feed suggests that writing them can take a lot out of you, and be a tough process. What do you find difficult to manage, is it the rawness, or more the frustration of when you feel the writing is refusing to flow for you? 

The biggest problem I've had to face in terms of my writing is expectations. When you start out, it's easy. Your work could be anything and everything, because no one has responded to it in any way. But once you're published, suddenly you have reader reactions and reviews and editors and agents and the market itself to contend with. And while all of those things are wonderful and I'm so grateful to have any kind of readership at all, the thought of those things often paralyses me. It's just a reality of the business. I worry the most that I am somehow not writing "correctly". That my style is too weird. And this is the thing that often causes me to tear my hair out when trying to write a scene.

I realise it's silly, though. It's just also sometimes unavoidable.

3. What significant things do you remember from childhood - I'm not digging for traumas, but more the things that gave you a sense of self, a sense of how you saw the world, if you know what I mean. For example, I know reading gave me a huge appreciate for fantasy and the magic to be found in the world - I think I have my father to thank for that too. What was formative for you? 

This is going to sound so rubbish, but I think it was watching the movie Return To Oz. That was the first moment when I realised a) the power of film and b) that it was okay to be dissatisfied with the way the world is. That it's okay to want more, to long for something fantastical, to dream of another life.

 This is a great answer!

4. Might you write a man POV book? Your heroines have a lot in common, I find, and they are often trying to work the hero out a lot - have you any urge to write a manbook? :) I know you were worried female POV wasn't enough the other day, but I would expect the Romance readership to be happy with it. Is there a male Romance readership to entice? Hmm, is this question too long? 

I think it's possible I will, one day. Certain stories I have in mind require a male POV just to make the story work. But that idea - of working out the hero from a female perspective - is what really drives me. The desire to tell a woman's story is more important to me. And if there is a male romance readership, I would hope that they would come into the genre wanting to hear women's stories, not demanding that we tell theirs. 

5.  You mentioned wanting to write sci-fi the other  day, as your first love. Can you manage both? What are the risks involved in genre surfing?

I think I've already kind of managed both! I've written two erotic romance sci-fi novellas, and have always had the urge to write more. But if you're talking genre surfing as in writing just straightforward science fiction with no romantic element...yeah I think there definite risks in attempting that. If I have another pen name, I have to build a readership all over again. And if I don't - or if I have one but share openly that I am that person - there's a risk my readers will be turned off.

But everything in this game is risky. Sometimes you've just got to go for it!

I hope you go for it. I'd cross genres in a flash to read your sci fi, but then, I am not perhaps, a typical Romance reader, I guess.

6. So - again, Twitter posts suggest your not quite living the dream, yet - publishing, audience, financial frustration vs the joy of getting to write for a living. What do you see in your ideal future? What will make the Charlotte of 15 years hence happy and satisfied? 

I don't think any writer gets to the point where they think yeah, now I'm living the dream! But it would be nice if in fifteen years I'm still doing this, and still making some kind of living. The most worrying thing about writing for me is not that I will never be a millionaire. It's that everything I've so precariously built up will suddenly crumble.

*I apologise deeply, that was a very serious point, but I have to do this:

Suddenly, 

I do hope this is the only kind of crumble you encounter. 

 And finally - 

7. If you had your minion army, would there be girl minions as well as boy minions? 

If I had a minion army I wouldn't care. I'd be too busy wriggling happily amongst them!

 
Thanks for having me, darling!

some names are just bridges too far

Ah, erotic writing. Names are always a struggle. You don't want mundanities like Kevin or Paul particularly because that just seems to be letting down the fantasy. Roger? I think not. But then the Cories, Jaydens and Bradens that tend to surface in the search for something windswept and interesting are just too self conscious for me, they drag me out of the story that bit too much. No one's really called, I don't know, Magellan, are they? Julian? Devon? Manley?? Baha. I'm just searching for a fitting moniker for a facefucking flash hero, and I'd love to call him something in particular - a name and according to the dictionary, the hypocorism (always useful, not sure I love a William, but everyone loves a Will) that are just ... excellent.

Sadly, however, they're just too like my father's. I thought I'd give it a go for a second, but soon as I saw it in black and white, I had to shudder and deletedeletedeletedelete. Bleh. Can't go there.

So, back to the drawing board, slightly squicked, I go. 

Stop by on the 6th for a CHARLOTTE STEIN INTERVIEW!!