Saturday, August 16, 2014

Feather beds

I just saw this on a groupon offer, and I have to confess, it gave me a twinge of arousal.

Lookit. It's a goosefeather and down mattress topper. That would be so fucking comfortable. Like the shed full of feathers in Jemima Puddleduck. Comfort!

Warmth! Cuddliness! The sleepy bliss of snuggling into that... my daughter keeps telling me of the women she's read about who've fallen in love with (and married) edifices - the Berlin Wall, the Eiffel Tower (thrusting, eh?). I can imagine myself developing quite the relationship with my bed. It may be happening already, especially since I got a body pillow. Mmmm, boyfriend pillow. An ecstacy of comfiness.

Unfortunately, I've come to realise that my lifelong love affair with feather duvets and pillows isn't an acceptable one. I'm a vegetarian, I don't like the idea of animals suffering torture for my comfort, and the reality of the first picture is a bloody one.

Live plucking is fucking disgusting. They do it to Angora rabbits too :(  At least the fox killed the birds before he plucked them, presumably. But as a vegetarian, even that doesn't sit too well with me. Battery farming... hmm. 

I've harshed my own buzz here. I do love sleeping in feathers. That bed turns me on. The words 'feather bed' fill me with bliss. You would think in our modern world we could invent a synthetic feather substitute that isn't petrochemical or otherwise nasty, that felt the same without ripping something bloody and tipping it back out into a barn, possibly to die of shock before the next time... c'mon!